Tuesday, March 31, 2009

99 Days and Counting

It's so hard to believe that I'll have a little boy in less than 100 days.

I am blessed to have so much time with my daughter, Addison. She is so entertaining these days. At the end of the day, I am more tired than I ever imagined. However, I know that I won't get these moments back. She looks like her daddy, but she is so much like me. I just sit and stare at her. I'm constantly in complete amazement. Before my eyes she is growing and becoming this wonderful person.

Sometimes I wonder how I will manage two. Addison is very demanding right now. I want to make sure I give her what she needs while providing for a newborn and, oh yeah, taking care of myself, and my marriage and the house, laundry...ugh. It stresses me out just thinking about it. I know we'll get through it. I know God will provide.

99 days is not a long time.

I think at this point with Addison I had everything done. Her room was painted, crib assembled, clothes organized by age. This time around, I have nothing done. I thankfully have a wonderful friend that is letting me borrow clothes and there are so many cute ones to go through and organize for him. We have no crib. No bedding. We won't be painting. I don't know what I'm waiting for. Am I acting as if time is just going to stop so I can get all of this done?

He's kicking all the time, reminding me that his arrival is coming soon. I am so ready to meet him and yet scared at the same time. I know what to expect and that's what scares me. Giving birth isn't my concern, like it was the first time. It's being able to juggle all the responsibilities x 2.

I am blessed. Truly blessed to even be able to have a baby. Having 2 is truly a gift. I need to be more thankful...thankful for the chaos, the worry that only being a parent brings. The sleepless, showerless days shall pass eventually. I need to embrace the gift of being a mom and enjoy it to it's fullest. My kids will need me no matter how tired I am or how stinky I get.

99 days...and counting.

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